The Perversion of Erotica

Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? What's the deal with people not using spank banks anymore? I mean come on.

I was in a 3rd-year English class, and somehow, my professor got onto the topic of masturbation. He confessed openly, of how in the 60s, he and his peers would use The Kinsey Report as erotica, under the guise of scientific research. It stirred within me, feelings and longing for a time lost.

My childhood, in the rural county.

The family computer.

The 56k modem.

Growing up, the options for erotica were limited, but the possibilities were endless. Sure, there was lingerie catalogues, suggestive music videos, cheap, late-night, soft-core porn and infomercials, but these were merely ingredients in the big dish. Every titillating sense, no matter how small, or impossible, was imported into the spank bank.

From it, there was no limit. Nobody saying ‘No’ or ‘Don’t Do That’ or ‘You’re Done Already?’. Just synapses rerouting wildly between gargantuan-titted chicks, spliced together of dead pornstars and Disney princesses. It was sometimes hard work trying to keep an image in your mind, but it was always worth it. It was always new, and it was always exciting.

I tried opening up the spank bank recently, and to my dismay, it was nearly bare. The maintenance of the spank bank is a time-honored tradition, and one that I feel I had personally forgotten. I am taking steps to reopen it, filling it with new ingredients, but of course, it’s not the fate of my own spank bank that I fear for, but the fate of future generations. The idea of a spank bank has become measurable in megabytes instead of memories, and there is something wrong with that. It’s too easy to forget the beginnings of male curiosity. It didn’t start at redtube or tube8. It didn’t begin with youporn or pornotube. Its beginnings were about more than a click of the mouse and a quick fap-crap-n-nap. There was a time when I fantasized about getting home from school so I could open up my bank, and see what I’d gotten that day. I’ve begun to see if I can bring these days back for myself, and although I’m a little rusty in practice, I feel it’s something important that I’m working towards.

Thank you, you've been a terrific audience.