This one's gonna be a lil shawty, but I just wanted to riff for a few bars on the idea while I had the passion. So my job involves me working early-early in the day, so naturally, I am a big fan of the mid-day nap. However, when I get off work, I usually wanna hit the nap right away. But, my head is swimming with so many good ideas and funny jokes that it's impossible to quell the gems bouncing around in my applesauce.
Enter the Fap-Crap-n-Nap.
You get home all riled up from a hard day's labour, you rub one out to your fav boner jam. You're feeling a little better now. You hump it to the can, and drop off a fat load. You're a new man. You touch head to the pillow, and you're on your way to being rested and ready for whatever the rest of the day throws at you.
However, don't think that I've just thrown these ideas together willy-nilly. It's a science. To show you what I mean, I'll throw you a couple basics. First of all, the order. Obviously, nap comes last, but can you crap and fap? hell fucking no. If you crap first, and your butt is still going to be chattin about the dump you took, and it's gonna be smelly when you start poundin' your puddin'. You need to fap it first, so that you can crap it, and take a good pee so that the load remnants don't glue your dickhole closed. Well you say, maybe you wanna wake yourself up with a good beef jerky. To which i respond thusly: Say you're sleeping, and your buddy calls you up and says, "hey you gotta come bang this chick for me!" Instead of being a bad-ass friend, and taking 10 to rub out the easy one (if this is a practice you follow), you're going to be ready to rock, having given yourself a little tug, pre-nap-like.
And so, there you have, the magic of the fap-crap-n-nap.
Thank you, you've been a terrific audience.
For a wealth of information on napping in an entertaining form, refer to: