I don't think I've met a single person who doesn't enjoy a good bowel movement. You get to relax, take a load off, and shed a couple pounds. It's just good for your health. But how are you supposed to enjoy that(those) time(s) of day when you're thinking about how you could be getting paid to do it at work? I have a pretty easy job. I mean I work with amazing people, and the actual work isn't too strenuous. And pretty much the only good thing about being paid an hourly wage (as opposed to a salary or volunteering) is that when you have to beef, you're being paid an hourly wage. I know it's not a huge chunk of cheese, but it adds up. I figure, I make around ten dollars an hour currently, and average a dump and a half a day. So if I work four days a week, and save my BM, that's 6 poopoos a week. Estimating that I can put in a good ten minute workout per dump, that's a whole hour of pay I'm getting for just doing my thang. Therefore, in a year, I stand to make 520 bones just dumping. That's pretty damn fantastic. The problem is, how am i supposed to comfortably shit when I'm not working? That's like losing money! Anyways, until I can harness the shutter speed of my sphincter to work in my favour, I'm leaking money like a stuck pig. I guess I'll have to get back to you on a solution.
Thank you, you've been a terrific audience.
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